The Trustbuster

We in the senate employed a special system of correspondence to take care of messages, inquiries and the like.  When a bald slave would show up at my villa door I knew one of my colleagues was trying to contact me.  I would bring the slave inside and offer him something to drink.  I would then call two of my guards into the room and order them to force the slave to his knees.  At this point I would insert my member into his mouth and begin to thrust.  If he was not cooperative My guards would insert hot coals into his anus.  As I said earlier the slave is bald.  This is because the message is tattooed on the top of his head.  I usually like to read it just before I deposit my seed in his mouth.  If the slave swallows, I will politely lop his head off and archive the message.  If he spits, I will feed him to my dogs and scold my colleague for sending me an insolent slave.

– Gunther Carlsbad

For those of you who don’t know, The TRUSTBUSTER is a Teddy Roosevelt reference.  We love the “Ted.”  He was the first president to put the clamps on monopolies.  He also founded the National Park system.  On top of  being  a bad-ass, he had a magnificent pair of balls.  He was actually shot right before he was about to give a speech.  Thankfully the wound was minor.  He patched it up on the spot and went right on delivering his speech.  It takes more than that to kill a Bull-Moose!  Here are some inspirational quotes:

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in that grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

“Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one.”

“Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

“In life, as in a football game, the principle to follow is: Hit the line hard.”

–Gunther Carlsbad

Okay, I want to let you all know about some ladies I have really come to appreciate in recent weeks.  These gals are great.  Yes I am talking about more porn stars here.  In fact, If you have been reading this blog you have already seen some pictures of these women.  First, Gianna Michaels.  Great tits and ass, but that’s not the half of it.  This young lady can perform.  She gives you that look like she’s really enjoying the pounding she’s taking.  She growls and moans and spits, yes spits.  She doesn’t seem to mind a little bodily fluid.  Now, she is either really good at looking like she is enjoying herself or she’s actually enjoying herself.  In any case, kudos Gianna and keep up the good work.

Velicity Von  gets a shout-out here as well.  She is hot.  Big tits and big’ol bubble butt.  She’s not trying to be skinny.  She plays up her curves.  She should be proud of all her natural assets.  She also seems like a sweetheart.  I know you can’t really judge a person by their performances, but she looks like she is grateful to be getting slammed.  Velicity, you keep up the good work as well.

- -Gunther Carlsbad

I must agree with my friend and his blog (see below).  But, I will take it one step further.  I don’t think movie stars are the sexiest women on the planet.  I think porn stars and Suicide Girls are way hotter.  Many of them aren’t trying to be super skinny.  They allow themselves to be curvaceous and voluptuous, like a real woman.  They are” broads” in the classic sense.  Sure, porn stars get fucked a lot but at least they let you watch, and you know they’re good.  Movie stars could be fucking just as much and with God only knows who.  And a you know a porn star is going to give you a good time.  I bet some uptight, self-involved movie star wouldn’t blow you because of some ridiculous diet.  Or maybe she just doesn’t like putting things in her mouth.

–Gunther Carlsbad.

FHM magazine, the formerly classy publication that began to take its cues from competitor Maxim, just named it’s sexiest woman alive. If you haven’t hit the fricking link yet, don’t- it’s Megan Fox. Megan Fox?! From the Transformers debacle!? I mean she’s cute…nice eyes…but um, sorry boys, she’s not a WOMAN. I’m not outing her as some TG, post-penis lop cutie, no, she appears to be fully female, but she’s also a girl. She looks like a high-schooler, she plays high-schoolers, shoot, she’s only 21! What the heck! I am of the opinion that most good looking women get better as they reach into their early thirties, but I guess SOCIETY doesn’t agree with me…AGAIN! Oh, right, we’re obsessed with youth culture- lolitas- underage poontang- Maybe it’s just that the readers of FHM are primarily in their teens, but please Lord, show these testosterone and oxy infused children the error of their ways…and give onto them the gospel of Eva Green. From The Dreamers and The Golden Compass…she was even a Bond girl. How did she not even break the top ten!

Her superior bone and flesh structure is EASILY apparent. Have you searched for her in Google images yet? DO IT!

If I were an animal, I would like to be a sponge.  Sponge’in it up on the ocean floor.  Just sitting on a rock flowing back and forth with the gentle ocean currents.  Soaking it all in…like a sponge.  So calm and relaxed.  No tension.  Every now and again I would ejaculate and watch my seed drift in the water, eventually landing on some female sponges thus making more sponges.  I could just eat, sleep and cum all day.  What a dream.

–Gunther Carlsbad

You know what I love?  Chocolate and steak.  This may sound gross but let me tell you-this is the most sinfully delicious flavor combination in the universe.  Get yourself a nice cut of meat, something tender and juicy and cook it to your preference.  Then melt some of your favorite dark chocolate and start dipping.  Oh, I want it right now!  If that is not up your alley then get some of your favorite pizza and smother it in guacamole.  If that doesn’t do it, try putting some A1 on vanilla ice cream.  The flavor sensation is tart and sweet.  It hits the  spot.  If that sounds gross, pour yourself a bowl of your favorite cereal  and cover it in hot fudge instead of milk.  More to come…

–Gunther Carlsbad

Did you know that the latest mental health studies show depressed people have the most accurate world view?  That makes sense.  If you pay attention to events and have some understanding of what is happening on this planet then you have every right to be miserable.  Its hard not to feel helpless and overwhelmed by this existence.  We are completely alienated from our environment and are suffering because of it.  Shit is falling apart and there is very little we can do about it.  The society we live in is the result of bad decision after bad decision dating back thousands of years.  If you eat the fruit, you get thrown out of the garden…therefore, happy people are stupid.

–Gunther Carlsbad

I love natural tits. Large ones in particular. They just look better than big ‘ol fake tits. They hang better and they feel better and they taste better…I’m assuming. Every woman that I can think who has gotten breast implants always looked better before the surgery. Not that there’s anything wrong with getting the surgery , especially if you are in need of reconstruction. But jeez, huge fake tits look gross. Ladies, If you have small breasts you are still hot, trust me. You don’t need to augment. Small breasts are perky and cute and they wont sag nearly as much as you age. Plus you could be way better at golf and your lower back will thank you. The only reason I love big natural tits is probably because of some childish mommy complex anyway. Like most men, I am a child. I don’t know any real “grown-ups.” Besides, this tit “fascination” is just another one those things we humans are told we admire. We don’t really know what we want out of life and are too stupid to realize it.

–Gunther Carlsbad

If I went to prison (please God do not let this happen to me, I will not survive) I would find the biggest, blackest man in the joint and suck him so good. I have a pretty big mouth but I would make sure to gag extra hard so he would feel huge. I would definitely have to cup his balls and work my hand up and down his shaft as if I were milking him. I would certainly have to swallow his load as if my life depended on it and it might, we are talking about prison here. Hopefully he will provide me with all the protection I need. Maybe, if we get close, I will grow my hair out extra long and braid it like Pippi Longstocking. That way he can have something to grab onto as he assaults my mouth, which I will hopefully come to enjoy.

–Gunther Carlsbad