The Trustbuster

I like the fact that Bryan Clay, our Afro-Asian American athlete conquered the decathlon today in Beijing. He physically represents the mix of America: an indistinguishable combination of genes from Earth’s multiple continents.

Joseph Biden as VP cements certain fears in me. He’s the Dem insider that represents Obama’s move into the interior political deposit envelope of Washington. I dislike this choice. I’ve heard mock and serious propositions that the man may be assassinated (lynched) before he enters office. I personally believe our nation is beyond that, but having a guy who handed the keys to the war cash box as second in line concretes the notion (once again) that they are the power infrastructure that runs our country. I think we need to develop a democratic immunization to the herpes of wealthy gentry that occupies our nation’s power structure.

Rome and Greece could not escape a democracy devolving into dictatorship. Can we? I hope so.

Regards,
Dorkus Malorkus

by Claire Quilty, your Sports Morality Correspondent

At the risk of incurring the disdain of anyone who reads this, I have a confession to make: I stand behind Barry Bonds. This isn’t entirely my fault…I was a San Francisco Giants fan years before Bonds donned the orange and black. But throughout the BALCO scandal, the jeers, the taunts, the ESPN polls, the asterisks, and the syringes, I defended our revered slugger. Barry Bonds provided me and countless other Giants fans with so many elated moments and happy memories since 1992, I feel that I owe him my loyalty. Do I think he’s a good person? No, he’s obviously a self-absorbed asshole. Do I believe he is innocent of using performance-enhancing drugs? No, I am not a moron.

I do think that he was treated unfairly on that subject by the sports media, fans around the country, and even by Commissioner Selig himself. The release of the Mitchell Report lends pretty strong support to that opinion. After twenty months of investigation, former Senator George Mitchell found that every Major League Baseball team at one time or other had players on its roster that were on the juice. That’s right, EVERY team. All thirty. From the lowly Devil Rays to the leviathan Yankees. So to the douche bag Dodger fans that attended Giants vs. Dodgers games for the sole purpose of incessantly screaming “cheater” in the direction of the field, regardless of what Bonds was doing, I say: Eric Gagne was doping. Should we put an asterisk next to every game he saved for your boys in blue? To loud-mouthed Yankee fans, I say: get off your high horse, your golden boy “future hall-of-famer” Roger Clemens and his pal Pettitte were juicers. To the fans in Houston: sorry, your nice-guy star Jeff Bagwell was a dirty doper, too.

You get the point. The proof shows that Bonds was unfairly singled out for using performance-enhancers, while dozens of other dopers got off without hearing a single jeer. I admit, Bonds’ ego maniacal personality and well-known penchant for being a general dick brought on much of the rancor that he’s been showered with in recent years. But as he neared the historical 756 home run mark last season, no one held up signs that said “Jerk” or showed pictures of a horse’s ass. All the signs, all the chants, all the drunken slurs were about steroids.

So judge not, Barry-haters, lest your favorite baseball star be judged for whatever crap he injected into his body five years ago. Let’s all cut Bonds some slack (he’s got bigger problems now), and see the steroid problem for what it is: an epidemic that has touched every major league team in every baseball city across the nation. Let’s start with a clean slate and stop the scapegoating. Let’s demand random drug tests for every single MLB player who suits up. Let’s demand some real penalties for future offenders (no more ten-game-suspension wrist-slaps). Let’s cure the epidemic without prejudice or finger-pointing, so we can all get back to living and dying with the game we love in all it’s pure and complex beauty.