The Trustbuster

Viva is opening this weekend in LA at Sunset 5! This movie is ridiculous, hysterical, sexy, beautiful, and magnificent! Anna Biller does almost everything, and we at TheTrustbuster.com love Bridget Brno!

SEE IT!

by Gunther Carlsbad—Your Senior Misanthrope Correspondent

So, I watched a movie called “Friends With Money.” It was a decent flick, at first. Jennifer Aniston was pretty good. It had Catherine Keener in it–I like her okay. Anyway, it was about Jennifer Aniston’s character, Olivia, being upset because she’s getting older and she’s single and doesn’t have a career she likes. All her friends are married and wealthier and I guess happier. But during the movie you of course find out that they aren’t happy with their careers and spouses and lives. Okay, that sounds good so far. I agree with that notion. I know plenty of people who have “everything” and hate their lives. People who live the proverbial “American Dream” but wear sad, compromising faces and whine and bitch about how bad everything is. And, I know plenty of people who have no direction in life and dislike everything about the working world and don’t know what the hell to do with themselves. Alright, “Friends With Money,” I can dig it. What’s your answer to this problem? What do you have to say about the zeitgeist? Why are we so miserable with having whatever we want whenever we want it?
By the end of the movie, Olivia hooks up with a shut-in weirdo and realizes he is the lone heir to a gigantic amount of money. The last scene includes her and her socially awkward but fabulously wealthy new boy friend talking about how she would like to spend some of his inheritance decorating the place…That’s the fucking answer? The key to happiness is having enough money so you don’t have to work? Or: leeching off a person with that kind of wealth? So, if the goal of existence is happiness, and many people would claim that it is, then doing nothing is what we should all be doing? Well that’s the answer according to “Friends With Money.” You know what, Fuck You “Friends With Money!” Your answer to the greatest problem facing mankind is to luck out and fall into a vat of money? Fuck you! Are you trying to make everybody feel worse?

by Gunther Carlsbad, your Senior Misanthrope Correspondent

So I watched this movie called “Little Man” by some of the Wayans brothers. I don’t know if all of them worked on it or maybe just a couple. I don’t know how well their family gets along. Anyway, this little man poses as a baby to get some jewel or something. He wants money, just like everybody else. Oh, I think he was in prison. So, this little man uses his baby abilities, meaning his ability to look and act like a baby, to breastfeed and commit a lot of other tit related evil. Essentially, he rapes an assaults women. He actually convinces a woman to let him sleep with her and then fucks her while she sleeps. Also, he fucked her soon after her husband was done with her. I know this movie was supposed to be funny, and parts of it were. But, am I supposed to laugh at sexual assault? How do you think these poor women would feel if they found out this baby was a mature, adult, ex-con. That really creeps me out. I don’t know what sexual assault is like. I don’t think I could ever rape a woman. I can’t see how you could even get it up. It makes me sick. Maybe its time to feel what rape is really like. I don’t know how a woman could rape a man, though I’m sure it has happened. If any ladies want to show me what that would be like, I would allow it. I’m ready to take one for the team, the man team. Other men should be willing to do this as well. It would give us some much-needed perspective. Oh, I don’t want to know what it’s like to be raped by a man. I’ll pass on that thank you very much. But, who am I kidding? No woman in her right mind would just be like, “Yeah, I’ll rape a guy, that sounds fun.”

But a man would be like, “Yeah, I’ll rape a guy, that sounds fun,” assuming he’s gay or in prison or in the military. A man, the right man,
would have fun raping me, unless I have a hugely inflated ego, which is a possibility. Meaning I for some reason believe that I am rape-able in the first place. A man might get off on shattering that ego regardless if I am rape-able or not. But, a woman would require that I get to know her. She would want to “feel it out” first before she jumps right into the raping. Maybe she could just knock me out after feeding me some Viagra. Does that work? I don’t necessarily need to be awake while I am raped. I’m still getting laid, right? You are never going to remember your best sex anyway. If it was really good, you are in the midst of having way too much fun to form any memories. There is way too much chemical interference in the brain. You will never forget your worst sex, however. Like the time I pretended to cum just to get it over with.